waiter rant

A friend of mine recommended a great blog to me, written by a server. The blog is called, Waiter Rant. I found this amazing post that he did, and I am reposting it because it is absolute genius.

The Rules (to be amended at will!)
April 26th, 2004 by Waiter

Since most dining patrons are social misfits I have decided to publish some guidelines to make your dining experience run smoothly.

1 Reserve early. You want to eat out on Saturday night? Well if the place is any good it will be mobbed so plan ahead. Book a table by Tuesday. Saturday night is rife with countless self-centered yuppies that stand open mouthed at the hostess stand when they are told the place is booked. Don’t be like those people. Make the call.

2. Turn off your cell phone. Unless you are a doctor on standby waiting for a donor organ to arrive, turn your phone off. (Such a doctor would be eating in the hospital cafeteria anyway!)

3. Sit where you are seated. It’s nothing personal. There are only so many primo tables and unless you are a heavy spender or tipper your chances of getting a good table is nil.

4. Order off the menu. If I went to your house would I tell you how to cook the food? I don’t think so. Substitutions are a pain in the ass and are really for those people with MEDICAL problems. Allergic to pesto, it’s gone. Vegetarian? Order a salad.

5. Say please and thank you. I can’t tell you how many times people forget this simple courtesy. You want your kids to turn into well-mannered adults? Set an example. If you don’t and your kids turn into little brats, well you know why.

6. Tip the coat check person. Yes you! A quarter is not a tip. It’s a dollar a coat. Too much? Eat at Burger King.

7. Tip the server at least 15%! Preferably 20%! The server has got to eat too. Tip pretax if you want but you have to tip on the booze! You probably will forget you stiffed the server ten minutes after you leave. He/She, I assure you, won’t forget you.

8. Give the server the whole order. Don’t order appetizers and say you will order entrees later. He/She will probably mess it up and ruin the rhythm in the kitchen. Your food will come out late and cold. Make a decision!

9. Don’t stay forever. The server and establishment are here to make a living. Real estate is valuable. When you dawdle you are taking money out of people’s pockets. The rule is the bigger the bill and the tip the longer you stay! Caesar salad and water split for two? You got twenty minutes.

10. Never touch the wait staff. This is a rule strip club patrons abide by why can’t you? You grab my arm and ask for water you are going to be dining al fresco on your ass real quick.

a quick look back

Happy Halloween!

So I just came across my old Xanga blog. Man did I write some funny stuff!!! I also wrote a ton!! Half of the stuff I wrote, I don't even remember, shows how significant (or insignificant) my blog was. Oh well, it is always fun to reflect back on the past and see how much I've grown up.

A co-worker tonight asked me if I've recent become more religious lately. When I asked him why, he said its because the choices I make now with much more consideration for my future and the effect it will have on other people. I simply just told him that I've always had a relationship with God, but the real reason for my decisions is because I am growing up now, and its time to start seriously considering my future. For example, this whole thing with Prop 19 (legalizing Marijuana). I've been so back and forth with this prop. I can't decide if it would do more good or more bad? From a business standpoint, I think it would do good things if the government could place a tax on selling it, regulate it and hopefully get us out from our budget deficit. Personally though, would I want my children to have such easy access to that? No. (This is a very basic example of the thoughts I've been having regarding this prop.)

I'm looking forward to the work week because my crazy boss will be out of the office from Tuesday-Friday. One thing I like is the fact that I will be able to come in early, meaning I will be able to go home earlier. I really hope I can find a better job sooner rather than later. Lord knows I've been trying. I don't know if I can take much more of her "abuse".

I watched Pride and Prejudice today. It really made me realize that CHIVALRY is almost dead, but for the most part it has just changed with the times. I really adore the love story of Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. I hope that over the course of my lifetime, I will have a great love story to tell of my own. I have to say though, I'm headed in the right direction. As corny as this sounds, every heart break has lead me to where I'm supposed to be, and I will be thankful for that at the end of the day.

My youngest sister is turning 16 on Friday and my family and I are celebrating with dinner at Geisha House. It makes me feel so old. What a bittersweet moment for me to see my baby sister grow into a beautiful little woman. I hope that I've been a good role model for her and that she doesnt get herself into too much trouble.

Well thats all I've got to say about that... goodnight

my summer thus far

to whom it may concern:

well its been awhile since my last post, and i dont know why really. for the most part ive been thinking alot of blogging but ive never wanted to actually sit down and just write my thoughts out.

summer time has been good and bad. its had its ups and downs. (like everything else for that matter). to start i went to lake tahoe with my wonderful family for the first time in about 5 or 6 years. we used to go every year until i got a job and started college. since then its just been way to hectic for us all to get time off and try to plan a family vacation. although, last summer we managed to pull it off when we went on a cruise... i wont get into that. anyway, tahoe was beautiful. we spent the 4th of july up there with my aunt moe, uncle cam and cousin blake. my grandma and her boyfriend jim also joined us. somehow i managed to get extremely ill. after several hours in the ER and many blood tests, flu tests, and throat swabs... the drs were able to determine that i was H1N1 or swine flu. luckily i caught it within 48 hours of catching it and was able to be treated with some anti-virals. the hardest part of that vacation was the bed i slept on. the flu i had made my whole body hurt more than its ever hurt before. my back was the worst. not only that but the only thing you want when your sick is your own bed to sleep in. On saturday the 4th my family packed up and traveled south down to Cambria. before getting into the car that morning i decided to take all 6 of my antibiotics/vitamins/anti-virals. Bad idea to take them on an empty stomach. About an hour into the trip i vomitted. my poor family. even i surprised myself when i puked in the bag and didnt spill a drop of vomit on anything. i couldnt imagine the rest of that 8 hour car ride with the smell of throw up lingering in the car. gross. anyway, cambria is a very cute little town off the coast of northern california. Its right next to Hearst Castle. We went to Nitt Witt Ridge, and visited the castle. What a neat place. Overall it was a great vacation, and it definitely brought my family closer.

Over the course of the next month I worked harder than ever to save money for my new york trip with amanda. of course i also had fun with my friends and got into a little trouble here and there.

new york was amazing. going there makes me forget about all my "problems" here at home. I cant wait to graduate from chapman so i can get my masters at columbia! There is no doubt in my mind that I want to attend Columbia one day. I am still amazed that amanda and i were able to do so much stuff during our short 6 night stay. It was my second time going but i was still so excited to see everything again. Amanda and i lucked out and got a room at the grand hyatt in midtown manhattan.. its right next to grand central station off park ave and lexington ave. We were on the 34th floor overlooking the beautiful city. wow, what a view. the first night we were there we decided to go to serendipity 3 for dinner. we told our cab driver but he dropped us off in little italy instead. what a place! i seriously didnt feel like we were in the city anymore. everyone spoke italian, and my name was bella. we ended up sitting next to these lovely people, who we ended up sharing a bottle of wine with. i mean, whats little italy without a nice bottle of vino?? haha. after dinner we loitered the streets of times square and later returned to our hotel room. the next morning we had breakfast in grand central and then decided to do the empire state building.. which was the worst part of the trip (if you can even call it that). it was just line after line after line. 2 and a half hours later we were overlooking manhattan from 89 stories up. last time i was there i did the audio tour, but that was also before the horrible economy. i remember last time in the audio tour they shared facts of people committing suicide by jumping off the building.. but this time, they didnt include that. i guess it wouldnt be very appropriate with what we are going through now, people might get ideas. after the esb, we headed to the upper west side to have lunch at tom's restaurant. the same restaurant that jerry, kramer, george and eileen went to! then we toured columbia university. i feel in love with the campus and decided ill go there for my masters one day. later that night we went for sushi at this awesome place called nobu. i learned they have one in san diego and in costa mesa. hayyyy! my new favorite. the next day we toured nyu and also explored washington square park and the surrounding area. what a beautiful place. after that we headed to chinatown and canal street. im so mad, on the day we choose to go is when the cops patrol the streets so all the vendors couldnt sell us anyway legit fake bags. ohhhh wellllll. it was still a crazy experience! one of my favorite things about the city is the food. the hot dogs, the pizza and the ice cream! ahhh i miss it already. the funny thing is that i never felt guilty eating it because we literally walked so much that it didnt matter. later that night we finally made it to serendipity 3, you know, the cafe based off of the movie serendipity :). the food wasnt that good but the frozen hot chocolate more than made up for it!!!!

the next day amanda and i met up on the steps of the metropolitan museum in the upper east side. it was such a nice day. we ended up going to the high line park in the meat packing district. I am obsessed with tv show "the city" on mtv and i got to see DVF where whitney works. the high line park is beautiful. it is located 30 feet about the streets, and back in the day it was used to transport things in and out of the island by train. now its just a park, but its beautiful. if you ever get the chance to go to manhattan then i would definitely recommend you going there. after the park we walked to billys bakery and had a cupcake. later that night we went to see the broadway production chicago. samantha harris- the host of dancing with the stars and the insider played as roxie. it was a reallly good show. after the show we went to buddakan- where they filmed the rehearsal dinner for carrie and big's wedding in sex and the city. it was amazingly delicious. i wish they had a chain in california.

the next day we went to the palace, shopped on 5th ave and played around in fao shwartz. amanda and i got to play the BIG piano!! after that we spent the majority of the day in central park. we tried to have a late lunch at tavern on the green but it was closed inbetween lunch and dinner shifts. we then walked to strawberry fields(a dedication to john lennon who was shot outside his home just across the street) and yes we went to the dakota(the apartment of lennon and to this day yoko still lives there.) judy garland also lived there too! haha we talked to the guard. after that we headed to the hotel to change for the yankee/red socks game! yes, we went to a yankee game in the new yankee stadium!! it was the most exciting baseball game ive ever been too. needless to say, i am an official yankee fan. i <3>

while i was in new york my papa had a stroke. at first the doctors predicted that he would make a full recovery and that everything would be fine with some speech therapy. (his stroke was in the part of the brain that controls your mouth, so he wasnt able to talk or swallow or eat food.) he could still write things down and think clearly though. after a day or two things started to get complicated. his lunges had fluid in them from when he had the stroke, and his heart was only beating at 30% of what it should have been so his body wasnt able to get the fluid out of his lunges. not only that, but since his heart was so weak it caused his kidneys to stop functioning properly and his lunges started to fill with fluid. i still cant understand why the doctors didnt drain his lunges and put him on dialysis. i mean, what is their job?? i couldnt believe what was happening and i still cant believe what is happening. sunday morning i was able to skype with papa and tell him how much i loved him (as much as i could between the uncontrollable crying). that was the hardest thing ive ever had to do. how do you say goodbye to someone who has had such an impact on your life? i hope you never have to do that...

wednesday morning my papa passed away. :'( the hardest part is seeing how much my dad is hurting. talking to my dad on the phone and not being able to understand him because he is crying so much. ive never heard/seen my dad cry. tonight at work i helped someone arrange candles on a cake that said "happy birthday grandpa". i could hardly do that without crying. i really dont even see the point in all this pain. i hope i never have to go through any of this crap again. i better die before my parents too, because i dont know how id live without them or my sisters. and i cant imagine how hard its going to be to lose my grandmas.. i cant think about that.

i miss my dad. i havent seen him since i left for new york on august 2nd. its the 13th now. and hes not going to be home until saturday.

RIP papa. i love you so much. <3

on a happier not, i went a little crazy and bought all new furniture for my bedroom. im still in the process of building it and everything. im going to ikea tomorrow with amanda to return some stuff and get new stuff. i cant wait to paint my walls and get a new bed spread. im also getting a flat panal tv to mount on my wall. its so weird to be in my room. everything is rearranged and im just not used to it yet. eeeeee im so excited for my tv.

anyway, thats basically the jist of whats new. please pray for my family and I during this hard time. it would be very much appreciated....

Kelsey